You may say I'm a dreamer

Now that the weather is getting warmer, I've been taking a 3 mile walk every Saturday morning. Sometimes I buy groceries. Sometimes I go to the bank or the post office or the shop. It's wonderful to have that time to myself to observe everything around me, and I see houses and trees and things that I drive by everyday, and yet I see them for the first time when I walk by them slowly, with nowhere to rush off to. It's a wonderful feeling. And I pass people on the sidewalk and say hello. Isn't it sad that people are surprised when I make eye contact and ask them how they're doing as we walk by each other? People are in such a hurry to get everywhere, that they don't want to be bothered with saying hello to someone walking right towards them. I love greeting strangers with a smile on Saturday mornings. Maybe it's the African in me. But I don't understand why people prefer to walk by someone on the sidewalk, pretending as if they didn't even see them, and doing anything to avoid eye contact. Is that moment of human connection really that much of an inconvenience? A few weeks ago, I walked by an old man and smiled and asked how he was doing, and he thanked me for the beautiful smile. I made his day, and with his response, he made mine. It was one of the few times I've felt ubuntu in America. And at the same time, it was sad that a simple encounter like this is so rare that he felt he should thank me for just acknowledging that I see him. I wonder what it would be like if we could strip away all the greed, and we were left only with our relationships with everyone around us. Would we live our lives differently? I think John Lennon had it right all along, if only we had been really listening - Imagine no possessions. I wonder if you can. No need for greed or hunger. A brotherhood of man. Imagine all the people sharing all the world. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us.

The Simple Life

Why is it that people feel like they need to have the biggest and best of everything in order to be happy? This seems completely backwards to me. I think I would be happiest having a very simple life, and spending my money on traveling, donating, and good food. That sounds like a perfect life to me. The studio apartment I currently live in is probably about 200 or so square feet. That's pretty small. But I still feel like I could live without half of this stuff. The few things that I do have feel like more of a burden to me than anything else. Does anybody else get that? When people buy me things, it's not a gift, it's another thing weighing me down. It's another thing that I'll have to store and eventually get rid of. Last night, I read an article that made me want to clear out my junk drawers and closets immediately. The article takes you through the lives of a few different families who traded in their 5 bedroom houses and fancy cars, for a much more modest way of life, and they are finding themselves happier than ever. And no amount of possessions could ever compare to this new level of happiness they have found. I highly recommend reading it. Here's the article: http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Meet-Followers-of-the-Simple-Living-Philosophy/1

Aha!

I'm a big Oprah fan. On Netflix, I'm on the 2nd disc in a series of 6 called The Oprah Winfrey Show: 20th Anniversary Collection. In the collection, Oprah takes us through her favorite interviews and talks about what they've meant to her. Disc 2 covers what she calls her "Aha moments". And as I watched these different interviews, a few of them really hit me. They are such important things to live by, and if taken seriously, they can really make a difference in the way you live your life. So I wanted to share them:

• Gratitude Journal - this show proposed the idea of keeping a journal, but not just a journal for whatever happened that day. It suggests that each day you write down 5 things that you were grateful for that day. And doing something small like this makes you look for these things throughout the day so that you have things to add to the list. The result of this isn't just a gratitude journal. It's a new way of life. It's no longer saying "poor me", but instead saying "lucky me".
• Authentic Power - this show asked the viewer "how do you view the world?" Look at the people around you. Are they cruel? Jealous? Constantly complaining? The people you surround yourself with are a reflection of how you view the world. If you surround yourself with negative people, you will view the world negatively. But if you surround yourself with positive, loving people, you will have a loving outlook on the world and humanity. This is one that I have really experienced myself. In the past few years, I have changed the type of people I surround myself with, and it has truly changed my life. It has changed the way I view my life and the world around me, and the things I believe I am capable of. And it has made me realize that if I too am a positive, loving person, I can pass on this energy and love to the people around me.
• Love Doesn't Hurt - 1 out of 4 women are in a battering relationship. This show addressed the problems women face in their relationships, with their denial being the biggest problem. Women stay in abusive relationships because the woman will say that the man loves her. But you teach people how they can treat you. They treat you bad because you let them. Oprah said "love feels good; love doesn't come up side your head". How is it that women think they are happy and think they are loved and think they can't live without that person, when that person is the one person making them feel unhappy and unloved and insecure. That isn't happiness. Happiness is feeling that you are the best you that you can be, and only when you find a person who brings out the best in you and lets your best you shine - that is when you can say that you are with someone who makes you happy and who loves you. There are too many women I know who don't understand the difference.
• Maya Angelou - This is a woman who has inspired Oprah since she was a young girl. Her words encourage people to overcome adversity and come out on top. She said that you need to stop and say thank you when you're in the middle of the biggest crisis of your life. When you feel like you're being hit up side the head and can't understand why - the first thing you say is thank you for it because you know whatever it is, it's only there to teach you more about yourself. And whatever it is, you're going to come out of it on the other side. And on the other side of every storm is an even greater joy.
• Children - When children walk in the room, they look at you to see if your face lights up. Do they see love or do they see criticism? Are you glad to see them? It's important for everybody, regardless of age, because every person is looking to see "Did you hear me? Do you see me? Do you really see me? Does what I say matter to you?" That is the common denominator in the human experience. And for children, this changes who they are. It changes who they will become. We need to be more conscious of how we treat others and how we make others feel. Especially children. It makes a difference. Everything we do makes a difference.

And a little more perspective..

Another documentary that I watched recently and highly recommend is called I Am Because We Are. It was narrated by Madonna and she brought us on a trip with her to Malawi to have a peek into the experiences she's had there. Here's a quote from the movie that seems to match my feelings perfectly, so I feel like I need to share them:

“The people that live here are amazing. I often feel like we’re the ones who have it wrong. In spite of all the hardships and devastation, they have a sense of community and extended family that I haven’t seen anywhere else. When you travel around, you see how diverse the landscape is. Couple that with the resiliency of the people. It’s hard to understand why there is so much suffering. There’s a sense of humanity that you don’t find in places like America or England. It feels like modernization equals no humanity. You get trapped when you come here, you get caught up. I look at the way they live and I think, oh god, they have illnesses and they have cultural traditions that seem antithetical to life, but yet they’re happy and you could drive down a street in Beverly Hills, you could drive down Central Park West, you could drive down Park Lane and you don’t see that kind of joy. You don’t see that kind of happiness, so who’s right? Being in Africa has made me understand that suffering is subjective. There is an enormous amount of suffering here that is really tangible. People are dying of illnesses, they’re hungry, they don’t have parents, they don’t have a roof over their head, they don’t have so many basic things that we take for granted, and yet they have an appreciation and a joy and a gratitude that we could never understand.”

Perspective

In order to view the world as it truly is, it takes a lot of work. It isn't easy and it doesn't come naturally. In America it's very easy to get caught up in the day to day life and lose that sense of perspective. I work very hard to keep my feet in Africa, so that I don't lose that sense of myself and my place in the world. I think most Americans don't understand how big the world really is, and how insignificant their complaints really are. I don't remember a single day that I didn't hear someone complain about not having money and being poor. And yet they are constantly buying things. They are always wearing decent clothes. They never miss a meal. They have jobs. They have beds to sleep in. How can they call themselves poor? I work very hard to keep myself from falling into this way of thinking, and to keep that sense of perspective.

I just finished watching a documentary called God Grew Tired Of Us. This movie follows the lives of a few young men from Sudan. At an early age, they were either separated from their families or they saw their families killed due to the civil war/genocide in Sudan. Tens of thousands of young men from all over Southern Sudan walked for more than a thousand miles and settled at a refugee camp in Kenya, where they spent the next 10 years of their lives. After this 10 year period, a small number of these young men were given an opportunity to move to America where they were given government assistance for 3 months until they were able to find jobs.

Watching the boys make the journey to America and adjust to this new life was amazing. Their innocence was beautiful. It also had me laughing harder than I had laughed in a while. It started on the plane ride when they were served their meals. They opened up the small package of butter and ate it plain, right from the package, and then you saw their reactions. They thought it was gross. One boy said he didn't know if it was meat or cheese. Then, after getting off the plane, they were in the airport and had to go up an escalator. One by one, they each tripped as they stepped on. The whole line of them. It was incredible.

Once they arrived in their apartments, a man was showing them around and teaching them the basics. They all gathered around a lamp, watching in awe as it turned on and off when they press the switch. And then they tried to understand the concept of a refrigerator. After that they were introduced to potato chips. They couldn't understand that they were potatoes but that they were already cooked and ready to eat. The guide, also originally from Africa, explained to them that when they have trash, it doesn't get thrown out the window. Instead it goes in a trash can. The lid opens, you put your trash in, then the lid closes again. And when it's full, you take it out. So you can imagine their reaction to a toilet... When they went into the bedrooms, they saw that there were four beds, for four men. They thought this must be a mistake. Normally several people share a single bed. They were brought to the grocery store to learn how to shop and what to buy. They saw cucumbers and asked if it was food. They saw donuts with sprinkles and asked if the sprinkles were beans.

The movie jumped to one week later, once they boys were able to get settled. They proudly showed the cameraman how to turn on the lights and what types of things go in the refrigerator. One even showed how he made his breakfast. He poured cornflakes into a large plastic pitcher. He then took the butt end of a hammer and smashed the cereal into smaller flakes, then added milk. This mixture was then warmed on the stove to make into a porridge.

Now fast forward to Christmas. Try explaining the concept of Santa Claus. They asked countless people to explain to them what Santa Claus has to do with the birth of Jesus. But nobody could answer. They didn't understand why people were preparing for the holiday with decorations, instead of preparing themselves spiritually like they do in their homeland.

They also had a few run-ins with the law. When they travelled in large groups to go to the shop, the police would be called, thinking the boys were going to try to rob them. But for them, this was normal. It was comfortable to be together all the time, especially in a strange place. They also didn't understand why you can't go to the house of someone you don't know, and why that person would then call the police. Their overall feeling towards the people here was that Americans are unfriendly. So once they were settled, they did what they could with what they had. They worked three jobs each, and sent all the money they made back home to their families and to the other boys who remained at the refugee camp.

It was beautiful to watch these people come to our country and see everything as it truly is. They saw our country in a way that we'll never be able to see it, because we're so deep in the trenches. When I go to Africa, I get a little glimpse of this. I get pulled out of the trenches for a moment, and it allows me to question everything I've ever known before Africa became a part of my life. And every time I return to America again, the trenches try to pull me back like quick sand. But I keep on fighting, with all my strength.