My Heart

I heard on the radio the other day that someone said that when you have a child, it's like seeing your heart, your actual heart walking around, and that there's nothing in the world that can compare. It's stronger than any love you could ever feel for anyone else. My mom has told me that I won't understand what it's like until I have a child of my own, but I tell her I already have a child of my own, of course. A few, in fact. Some people think that you can't have this same love for a child that you didn't give birth to, but that's not true. When you go through what I've been through with Nes, it is possible. That little face is everything in the world to me. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, and seeing that big smile takes my breath away. She's just the most amazing, awesome, perfect little thing I've ever seen.

Even when I was in the hospital with her for an appointment, and she was running all over the place, as I tried to chase after her while on crutches. Or when she first learned how to spit, and was trying to spit in my face, while laughing at the same time, but she learned the effects of gravity that day, as the spit didn't reach me, but came right back and landed on her own face again. She's as naughty as anything, but I don't think I could ever be mad at her. I can't believe I am so lucky that I get to spend another 7 months with her, and see her beautiful face every day. I wouldn't trade that time with her for anything in the world. It's so hard to be away and not be able to see her grow up. But at least for 7 months, I will be able to fall in love all over again, every day, every time I see that smile, every time I see my heart walking around. And when the time comes that I have to leave her again, without knowing when I'll be able to return, I'll once again be without my heart, as it will be in Africa, walking around with a big smile.

"There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child."